The Truth Behind My Modesty

Being a girl is tough. Being a girl who loves and worships Jesus is even tougher.

But don't be mistaken...

It's worth it.

Spending a week at the beach, I feel out of place. Everywhere I look, I see girls in bikinis that barely cover anything. Now, I'm not judging these girls. I'm just filled with thought.

I understand them. I understand the desire to have fun. Be cute. Be sexy. Get attention. Feel special.

I'm a girl too, you know.

All my life, I've been told that I'm not allowed to wear a two-piece. No, this isn't a "homeschool thing", as so many of us call our lifestyle habits stemming from our educational "quirks". This was simply a decision my parents made that I "had to" respect my entire life.

You know, eventually, when you live a certain way, you begin to believe the thought behind that lifestyle. If you believe you're fat, you're going to eat like it. If you believe you're talented, you're going to speak like it. And because of my parents' decision for my modesty, made before I even had the chance to decide for myself, I am modest.

Don't get me wrong...how I would love to wear an adorable Lilly Pulitzer two piece on the beach. But I simply cannot.

After all my summers of wearing a one piece, the decision my parents made has become my own.

I could wear a two piece. If I really wanted to, I could lie and sneak around and wear a bikini. 

"Why would you continue to wear a one piece?", you might ask. And how in the world, after being surrounded by so many people making different decisions, could I keep confidence?

I don't keep confidence. 

I have to make a continual decision to stick to what I know to be true.

A decision to protect the boys and men around me. I have three brothers, and I would never want to put their minds in danger...why tempt someone else's brother or boyfriend?

A decision to protect my body...saving it for the husband I've prayed for my entire life.

A decision to create a visual image for the different lifestyle of purity I've chosen.

I'm modest because I know that my body is not my own.

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) This body is one that I can exploit or treasure, protect or distort...I've been entrusted with it to serve and love and encourage. 

The confidence will follow the decisions.

Many think that their motives make a difference in bikini-wearing.

Excuse me for being blunt.

Motives don't matter when wearing a bikini. A bikini is a bikini. A boy doesn't see your heart's focus...whether it's to be sexy or just have fun and wear a cute suit. I want everyone to see Jesus in me...not my boobs or butt.

My job is to 1) Glorify Jesus and 2) Bring others closer to Him. If I have distracted someone from that cause, how I have grieved the Father's heart.

"For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world." (1 John 2:16)

So for these reasons, tomorrow, and every summer, I will be wearing a one piece to the beach. Not because I'm "old-fashioned" or judgmental.

But because I want to be different. 

I know Whose I am.

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Romans 12:2