Teen Wifeology

I'm frustrated. Late on this Thursday night, I sit here at the kitchen bar with a bag of pretzels and a whole jar of strawberry jam.

I'm sad with relationship chatter. I'm sad with hearing my girlfriends being sad with singleness. I'm sad with the world's low values and high expectations.

One might tell you it's most definitely "ordinary" to feel this way as a teen girl. But gosh golly, if there's one thing I hate in life, it's "ordinary."

So, I've gotta break a fact to you. If you're a single gal out there, you're practicing pre-wifeology (wifeology: the state and practices of a married woman).*

* -me

And you have been. 

Today, yesterday, and tomorrow, we're practicing the state of wifehood.

How I wish all girls knew this... YOU'RE PRACTICING BEING A WIFE! RIGHT NOW!

In my mind, I've been pondering what it means to live out Biblically-centered teen wifeology. 

So, here goes. The gut-honest not-so-pretties.

1. Discontentment is Inevitable.

WOAH, GIRL WOAH. 

No, it's true. On this earth, we will never reach a point of absolute, never-shaken contentment. The difference comes in the action resulting from the feelings. When times of discontentment and longing come along, as they do so frequently, we have to check it. Repenting in prayer, seeking His peace, and searching for replacement thoughts in His Word is where the Biblical wife-in-training (and present wife) finds her satisfaction.

2. You are a WOMAN, not just a DATE.

I once heard a quote..."I would die for you, but I will never live for you." It's so on target. Ladies, if we base our lives around a boy at any time, we've lost the focus of Jesus' intent for marriage (to give us a physical, tangible experience of His love for the church--NOT ONE PERSON). Our delight will never be satisfied in a man. Learn to find the balance and boundaries that are necessary to create this difference.

Speaking of...

3. Know your boundaries.

Whether in a relationship or not, know what you can and can't stand. Don't watch a certain movie or read a certain book if it prompts a desire that cannot presently be fulfilled. If you doubt it, don't do it. Find accountability. Be honest. Speak up. If something makes you uncomfortable, girl, you run to counsel. You will mess up. It happens. Learn from it and don't make light of it.

4. Respect Authority.

The way you presently submit to your parents, teachers, and coaches is instilling within you the characteristics of an obedient wife.

(Side Note: An "obedient wife" is not a "pushover wife"-- she is a woman who respects her husband's God-ordained ultimate say with love and trust.)

In a culture that puts such high value on rash feminism, this point can be extremely "controversial." God has placed great emphasis on the vastly different, yet harmonious, role of man and woman within marriage: male as leader; woman as helpmate. Colossians 3:18 provides a great start to biblical study on this idea.

5. Embrace the "I."

Once the ring goes on the finger and you are "Mrs.," things change. You won't be able to travel as freely, gather as regularly, and dash so readily. The years of singlehood are chances to discover who and what you are in God's grand plan. Man, it's grand. Don't miss it while dreaming of the "we." It'll come soon enough. Just ask your Mama.

6. "That guy?" (Yeah, well, he's someone's husband.)

Treat every young man you meet and know with respect and intelligence. This includes your dress, speech, body language, and motives. Watch your mouth. Cover up. Don't laugh at that joke. Protect him like you would your brother. Treat every guy like you want your future lifemate to be treated. It'll save lots of heartache, temptation, and recovery. Plus, it's Biblically-solid (1 Peter 2:17), which alone takes the cake for importance.

7. Don't Be Naive.

Not everyone is as genuine or innocent as you think they are. This isn't said to instill doubt or criticism, but to serve as a warning. Look twice. Wait before you speak. Don't count on something that appears too good to be true.

8. Invest in the Stickers.

Boys may come and go, but girlfriends are forever. Don't waste time on petty guy drama and miss out on the fun and spontaneity of galtime. It is so refreshing, rewarding, and long-lasting. Building those "bridesmaids relationships" are what this chapter is all about.

9. Let Your Character Speak.

Be the young woman whose standards are unquestionable. Be hard to get, but don't do it in play. Rise above today's circumstances and live in Truth. Distinguish yourself, but not for yourself (big difference). Live in righteousness.

10. Cover Him.

I saved my favorite for last. 

You cover your husband in prayer. You intercede for his salvation, purity, character, relationships, family, and safety with tenacity. Keep a notebook of prayers for and thoughts of him. Never doubt God's provision in his or your life. Don't rush things. When you live on your knees, God is faithful to bless your desires and mold them to His will. Paths will converge in perfect time. Keep walking. Keep praying. Love him from afar.

I love my husband. I love him deeply and with a passion unique to this phase. And in this chapter, I want to do everything I can to make our marriage the best portrait of Jesus we can live.

You and I will make mistakes. He will make mistakes too. But through prayer and biblical discipline, much heartache is saved and trust is built.

His hand is upon your husband, and His hand is upon you. Don't doubt for a minute that He doesn't care how you feel.

You are so loved, and you are so beautiful in His sight.

Don't settle, don't doubt.

When you can, read Proverbs 31, asking the Lord to cultivate the fruits of a biblical bride in you today.